in memoriam

My paternal grandmother died ten eleven years ago this weektoday [I don't know where my brain is, I don't know what day or year it is].  She was a loving, beautiful, challenging, and sometimes difficult woman, and I think, I hope, I take after her in many respects.  I know she'd be very proud of me for coming to live in Paris, for my writing, my research, all the things I've done and am going to do in my life. She would find my boyfriend handsome, my dog adorable, my apartment tasteful, and my clothing chic (that is, as long as I left the Chuck Taylors at home).

She was a fascinating study in assimilation, born in Italy to fairly well-off Catholic parents, immigrated to America, wed to a (they say)  slightly insane but brilliant Jewish engineer, for whom she converted, gave birth to my father, divorced, remarried a (they say) wonderful Jewish real estate developer, moved among the wealthier social circles in Kings Point and Palm Beach.  Part Four of her life began after my parents married and my sister and I were born... she took us shopping, to the theatre, to the chicest restaurants in Manhattan, all in her beige Mercedes Benz.

We're going to Italy in two weeks, and I'd like to say she'd be glad to hear that as well, since she herself was born in Bari, in 1922.  Except we're going to Napoli, and I can hear her voice now: "What do you want to go to Napoli for, it's the dirtiest city in Italy, the Neapolitans are trash, don't go to Napoli, go to Roma, go to Florence, go write some more of your book in Venice, but Napoli? Pfeh!"   

To a certain extent I think she'd admire my efforts to find a comfortable mix between my American identity and my attempts to assimilate in France.  She spoke with a light Italian accent all her life, as will I in French.  I wonder if she'd appreciate my bringing our family back to Europe, or if she'd think I was crazy for leaving the US.  I'll never know for sure.

Comments

[Delphine]

Oh how wonderful! I am sure she would be very happy that you went back to Europe. Blood is not water. Now when I was in Paris, I took a photo of my parent's last residence before they moved to Canada. They lived at 32 rue Saint Paul, Paris 4e. (I want to scream!!!). Hopefully I took a good photo because I want to blow it up and frame it for my mother. I am sure she will be over the moon. But thank you for sharing, I am sure your grandmother is watching over you now with an enormous grin!!
delphine

[Maryam in Marrakech]

I am sure that she would have been so touched and flattered that you were writing about her here.

PS Thank you so much for voting for my blog in the Bloggies. So sweet of you and I really appreciate it.:-)

[maitresse]

crap I hadn't finished this post, I thought I saved it as unpublished... but I guess it's alright as is. Thank you both for your comment...

[Aimee]

I think your grandmother would be proud of you for all that you've accomplished today. Very lovely what you wrote...

[maitresse]

It's not enough but it's alright for a blog post, I suppose... she did much more than marry and spend money, but there must be a more appropriate space for that than a blog. thank you, aimee.

[Chrisos]

Enjoy Napoli, the weather will probably be nicer than in Paris. i hope that you have planned to visit Positano (like the rue des Canettes Pizzeria), Pompei and Amalfi!
I guess that Parents and Grand-Parents are always proud of their progeniture/descendence, so she must be very proud and glad for you!

[Alice]

Oh, Maitresse, she sounds like a wonderful, and wonderfully chic, woman! And you really have given her a lovely tribute here, even if it might not seem just right to you. I enjoyed reading about her and about what you share, as well as what makes you different.

And I agree with the others here that she would definitely be enormously proud of you today, of all that you have accomplished so far, and all you will accomplish in the years ahead!

[Jennifer]

Beautiful post about a woman of character. Very nice to read.